http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE1ADwbo5Ls
This should be the link !
Re: JOKES
62FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION...POLITICAL CORRECTNESS AT IT'S FINEST.
I agree with our Native American population---I am highly insulted by
the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue
that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would
exalt them as warriors, but nay nay…...We must be careful not to
offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we
must move forward.
Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the
Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the
reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get
rid of the Cleveland Browns.
The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of the
militant Blacks from the 60's alive. Gone. Offensive to us white
folk.
The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a
team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any
reference to that tragic war between the states that cost this country
so many young men's lives………………. Besides, the South shall rise
again!!
I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion
among our football team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New
Orleans Saints, Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres. The fact
that there are birds on their shirts does not protect either the
Arizona or the St. Louis Cardinals---gone!
Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and
pillaged as their way of life. We are talking the horrible Oakland
Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the
Pittsburgh Pirates!
Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to
our children---and it is all about the children.
The Green Bay Packers and the St. Louis Rams--promote gay men. Wrong
message to our children.
The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible spending habits. Wrong
message to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity--a
growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.
The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to
our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers---well, that goes without saying.... Wrong
message to our children.
So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out
to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become
involved with this issue, as they should. A high priority directly
behind efficiently managing our country's health care. Amen.
I agree with our Native American population---I am highly insulted by
the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue
that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would
exalt them as warriors, but nay nay…...We must be careful not to
offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we
must move forward.
Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the
Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the
reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get
rid of the Cleveland Browns.
The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of the
militant Blacks from the 60's alive. Gone. Offensive to us white
folk.
The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a
team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any
reference to that tragic war between the states that cost this country
so many young men's lives………………. Besides, the South shall rise
again!!
I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion
among our football team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New
Orleans Saints, Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres. The fact
that there are birds on their shirts does not protect either the
Arizona or the St. Louis Cardinals---gone!
Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and
pillaged as their way of life. We are talking the horrible Oakland
Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the
Pittsburgh Pirates!
Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to
our children---and it is all about the children.
The Green Bay Packers and the St. Louis Rams--promote gay men. Wrong
message to our children.
The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible spending habits. Wrong
message to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity--a
growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.
The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to
our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers---well, that goes without saying.... Wrong
message to our children.
So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out
to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become
involved with this issue, as they should. A high priority directly
behind efficiently managing our country's health care. Amen.
Re: JOKES
63An old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked what she had taken. The lady replied, "A can of peaches."
The judge then asked why she had done it.
She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."
The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.
She replied, "Nine."
The judge said, "Well then, I'm going to give you nine days in jail-one day for each peach." As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's husband raised his hand and asked if he might speak.
The judge said, "Yes, what do you have to add?"
The husband said, "Your honor, she also stole a can of peas."
The judge then asked why she had done it.
She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."
The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.
She replied, "Nine."
The judge said, "Well then, I'm going to give you nine days in jail-one day for each peach." As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's husband raised his hand and asked if he might speak.
The judge said, "Yes, what do you have to add?"
The husband said, "Your honor, she also stole a can of peas."
Re: JOKES
64Yogi Berra, considered one of the best catchers in major league history, died of natural causes at the age of 90 Tuesday. The Yankees legend and Hall of Famer may be better known for the way he creatively butchered the English language, with what became known as Yogi-isms.
Here are 35 of them:
1. “It ain’t over till it’s over.”
2. “It’s deja vu all over again.”
3. “I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4.”
4. “Never answer an anonymous letter.”
5. “We made too many wrong mistakes.”
6. “You can observe a lot by watching.”
7. “The future ain’t what it used to be.”
8. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.”
9. “It gets late early out here.”
10. “If the people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s going to stop them.”
11. “Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.”
12. “Pair up in threes.”
13. “Why buy good luggage, you only use it when you travel.”
14. “Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.”
15. “All pitchers are liars or crybabies.”
16. “A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.”
17. “Bill Dickey is learning me his experience.”
18. “He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.”
19. “I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.”
20. “I can see how he (Sandy Koufax) won 25 games. What I don’t understand is how he lost five.”
21. “I don’t know (if they were men or women fans running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads.”
22. “I’m a lucky guy and I’m happy to be with the Yankees. And I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary.”
23. “I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.”
24. “In baseball, you don’t know nothing.”
25. “I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”
26. “I never said most of the things I said.”
27. “It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.”
28. “I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.”
29. “I wish everybody had the drive he (Joe DiMaggio) had. He never did anything wrong on the field. I’d never seen him dive for a ball, everything was a chest-high catch, and he never walked off the field.”
30. “So I’m ugly. I never saw anyone hit with his face.”
31. “Take it with a grin of salt.”
32. (On the 1973 Mets) “We were overwhelming underdogs.”
33. “The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.”
34. “You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours.”
35. “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
Here are 35 of them:
1. “It ain’t over till it’s over.”
2. “It’s deja vu all over again.”
3. “I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4.”
4. “Never answer an anonymous letter.”
5. “We made too many wrong mistakes.”
6. “You can observe a lot by watching.”
7. “The future ain’t what it used to be.”
8. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.”
9. “It gets late early out here.”
10. “If the people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s going to stop them.”
11. “Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.”
12. “Pair up in threes.”
13. “Why buy good luggage, you only use it when you travel.”
14. “Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.”
15. “All pitchers are liars or crybabies.”
16. “A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.”
17. “Bill Dickey is learning me his experience.”
18. “He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.”
19. “I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.”
20. “I can see how he (Sandy Koufax) won 25 games. What I don’t understand is how he lost five.”
21. “I don’t know (if they were men or women fans running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads.”
22. “I’m a lucky guy and I’m happy to be with the Yankees. And I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary.”
23. “I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.”
24. “In baseball, you don’t know nothing.”
25. “I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”
26. “I never said most of the things I said.”
27. “It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.”
28. “I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.”
29. “I wish everybody had the drive he (Joe DiMaggio) had. He never did anything wrong on the field. I’d never seen him dive for a ball, everything was a chest-high catch, and he never walked off the field.”
30. “So I’m ugly. I never saw anyone hit with his face.”
31. “Take it with a grin of salt.”
32. (On the 1973 Mets) “We were overwhelming underdogs.”
33. “The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.”
34. “You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours.”
35. “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”